Around 5 years ago, I had a workshop in Tokyo in which I set up many branches, trunks and grasses in that room. I also used bird sounds to make people feel as if they were in nature. Participants liked it and I was satisfied with how I set up my workshop space.

This month, I went into a fruit shop in Nara. It was nicely decorated like a cafe in Tokyo. And bird sounds played in that shop. Many fruit and its products were arranged artfully. It was as if I had set up my workshop space almost 5 years ago. And I felt discomfort.

I have lived in the countryside for 2 and half years. My daily life is always a part of nature. I mean that everything is interconnected into a whole picture. Bird sounds are just a part of the nature like a pixel. Branches or fruitt are also just a part of nature like a pixel. Both are just particles but the whole picture involves space between particles and other particles. So when I entered into that nice shop, I felt the pain of unnatural separation.

When I lived in Tokyo, I rather admired such a pixelated life as a unique one. I did not feel the pain of separation. I thought that a hybrid of urban life and natural things was sophisticated. But now I know how much it is an unbalanced way of life. I experienced the world as a whole compared to how I experienced the world in my past. So now I don’t admire such a hybrid life. Because I jumped into life in the countryside with courage and already knew that it is there.

初出：2019年2月17日