When I was a child, I needed a camera to take photos, I needed a CD player to listen to music, I needed a ruler to know the length of something . Each of them exists for one purpose. So we needed to switch our consciousness to go to the next thing without missing a beat. It helped us to decide whether we liked something or not rather than whether we could make something or not.

Now I need only one device like an iPhone to take photos, listen to music and measure. I realized that the feeling that I could do many thiings at once with my hands deprived me of aliveness or life force. Because everything starts to be treated as data. So the world changed from a sphere to pixels. It is like eating chicken soup in separate parts, like carrots first and chicken broth second. In that way, I don’t savor chicken soup in a harmonized way. It is the same as only seeing broken up pixels instead of seeing one picture.

One day I determined to graduate from the pixelated world. For example, I will listen to music as music not data. I want to enjoy music as a whole not as disassembled parts. At least when I was a child, many musicians paid attention to not only to the music but also to the jacket or liner. So I could imagine its music from the liner notes and its work consistently had a clear intention. And feeling the musician’s intention sometimes helped me to go forward. But only streaming digitized music cannot make it.

So I bought a CD player and stopped copying music from a CD to iTunes. Each time I listen to music, I feel like bowing to that musician. They poured their passion into the music, so it is worth bowing to. This also helps me to take back dignity in my whole life. I received conveniences from data, but it is not my future, it is my past.

初出:2019年1月14日

I have worn outfits by Petit Bateau of France often for over 20 years. Their philosophy is to never be out of fashion. Their lines are always simple, precise and beautiful. They keep their shape well despite repeated cleaning.

When I was in my early twenties, I poured my energy into being in better shape. I endured 90 minute workouts three days in a week. I tolerated drinking strawberry-flavored protein drinks, too. I loved to dressed down in a simple t-shirt and skinny jeans paired with stiletto pumps. I tried to fit into that kind of style.

And I found out that it was impossible to wear “12 ans” size shirts. I wore a Japanese size 7 or 9. But “12 ans” was too small for me. To wear “12 ans”, I would have needed to compress my skeleton.

Many years passed after that and I forgot all about it. I loved my natural body. I discovered yoga and Pilates were suitable for my body. I learned that I didn’t need to control my body based on my preconceptions. I just started to love who I was and to love my body. I started to respect my body.

Two years ago, I learned how to take back subtlety in my body while practicing shamanic training. I have continued my efforts since then. Last autumn, I started to feel that “14 ans” was too big for me. This winter I really felt that they were baggy. Finally, I was determined to wear “12ans” which had been too small for me.

But amazingly I could fit into it and it was the right size. Now I never hanker after wearing a small size like “12 ans.” But now “12 ans” is my size, as if my subconscious never give up fulfilling my wishes.

Sometimes we say, you have to let go of something to get it. It happened to me for some reason. Anyway, I have a “12 ans” body now.

初出：2015年3月6日

When you were a child, who did you aspire to be like?

I remember at least two people who I aspired to be like.  One was Kukai. He lived between the 8th and 9th Centuries during the Nara and Heian Period. Another one was Seishonagon. She lived between the 10th and 11th Centuries, also during the Heian Period.  In this post, I will focus on the fomer one.

According to many history books, Kukai was talented, worldly, strategic and eccentric. He is known as the originator of Shingon Buddhism. He is also known as one of the three best Japanese calligraphers. I learned in elementary school that he repaired a big reservoir.

His name means sky and sea. When he reached enlightenment in his twenties, there was only sky and sea around him. So he decided to name himself Kukai.

Kukai was born in Kagawa Prefecture and moved to Kyoto to go to a university. Amazingly, there was a university system which was similar to the current university system. During this time he lived and studied near my current home. When I moved to current my home, I had forgotten this fact. But now I remember it, and that made me wonder.

When he was thirty, he was chosen as an envoy to China.  Chinese records say that his Chinese was very fluent. It’s a mystery why he was chosen to be an envoy.  But it reveals that he was a strategic and eccentric person.

When I was an elementary school student, I did not know why I aspired to be like him. But now I know.  His faces,  worldly, strategic and eccentric, are my faces, too. I unconsciously knew it, so I aspired to be like him. Now he often inspires me. His life give me some hints on how I should live.

Who inspires you?

初出：2015年2月12日

Do you know that your big toes have seven pressure points corresponding to your head, nose and neck?

On the big toe, the area which faces the second toe between the interpharangeal joint and the metatarsopharangeal joint is for the neck. If you have some kind of neck pain, please massage this part gently.

The area facing away from the other toes, which is on the interpharangeal joint is for the nose. For improving hay fever, massaging this point will help you.

Other places in your big toe is all about your head except the ears and eyes. Pressure points of the ears and eyes are on other toes.

I think that most people think too much. While you are taking a bath in a bathtub, please massage your big toes gently and precisely every day. It reduces your headache problem, too.

These are simplified instructions. It’s actually a lot more complex. But I think that the first steps should be easy. So I won’t write those things. If you try it over one week every day, you will feel that massaging your big toes is helpful. In that case, you will seek the next steps by yourself.

There are many books and a lot of infomation on the internet. Your curiosity will guide you to the second step smoothly. Anyway, mesasge your big toes everyday.

初出：2015年2月4日