If you want to be loved or esteemed by someone, it can make you vulnerable. Because you need to maintain your self image of being loved or esteemed by someone, you may be in denial of other parts of you, And when you are criticized by someone, even if it is very valuable to you, you may need to underestimate it to maintain your image of a good girl or boy.
These movements in you intterupt your inner integration. And the person who you wanted to be loved or esteemed by will be an oppressor. You will start to feel deprived of your inner space by that person. And when you lose your purpose, you will face your fragility.
I hope that you stop turning your loving person into an oppresor and your life be filled with happiness.